Lady Adventure

The Evil Pigeons Abandon Babies

Just an update: Mr Gingerbread and I have become adoptive parents. Mammy Pigeon hatched her offspring and promptly abandoned them. We couldn't get her out of the darned nest when they were just eggs, but now she's off gadding about with her paramours and neither she nor Daddy Pigeon seem to care very much about her two chicks.

It might be because they're not very attractive. Kittens and puppies, for example, have a certain endearing cuteness to them that makes you want to scoop them up and smoosh them; baby pigeons share a startling resemblance to feathery baby velociraptors. And they poop like a T-Rex: how such small creatures can produce so much poo is beyond me. We have their entire environ covered in plastic and as soon as they leave the nest, I'm going to get in there with my scrubbing brush, face mask and rubber gloves. (Mr Gingerbread won't let me evict the Pigeon Family now that they're orphans. He's beginning to empathise with them unduly: today there was a very dramatic summer storm and we went up on to the roof patio to watch Mother Nature batter our neighbourhood. "They must be feeling very frightened," he said sadly, nodding at the nest. I stared at him, agog.) As soon as I can, I'm going to scrub that wall with my industrial-strength disinfectant.

So for all of you who are wondering where all the baby pigeons are: the little blighters are here:

Wingèd Vermin At Home